Losing a dear person…

Losing a dear person… What does it mean? You can lose a fried, because he/she has betrayed you. You can lose your love partner as he/she has found a new one. You can lose your relatives because of their death. A mother can lose her unborn baby because of miscarriage. But in any case it’s extremely painful…

It’s painful as you’ll never see dear eyes and smile… It’s unbearable as you’ll never be able to touch so well known hands and kiss dear cheeks… It’s terrible you’ll never hear their voice… All these have been keeping only in your mind and memory. And the most terrible thing is to understand that nothing will ever able to substitute your loss…

Of course, you can say you can find a new partner and friend. A mother can bear another baby. But it’ll be just another, it’ll be different from the original.

And what about the death of the dearest and nearest? It even sounds unthinkingly terrifying… We are crying, mourning… And nothing can be done to change anything. It’s life. It can be cruel with us without any strong reason. And we should make effort to accept it. And just to make easier the losing of a dear person you should spend more time with your dear and enjoy every minute with him/her not to regret about anything. Take care of that what you have got…

Being alone... Is it good or bad?

What is loneliness? Some will say it’s a terrible state when you are needed nobody, you’ve got no friend, no nearest and dearest and it seems you the life is meaningless. But others, e.g. a woman who has a husband, two children, parents and a married sister or brother with her/his children and all members of the family share one flat, will say loneliness is an excellent feeling you can be alone in total silence and nobody will disturb you. But I suppose in this case it seems to be more privacy than loneliness.

As for me, loneliness is an unbearable state. I can’t be alone for a long time as gloomy thoughts began to haunt me. But may there be some advantages in loneliness? I think it is possible to look at loneliness in a different way…

Perhaps, we have used to be among other people and we oft fear to get alone…, when there’re only you and your own thoughts and nobody can influence on them and dictate his/her ideas. We fear to look inside ourselves instead of considering others’ opinion. We don’t know “Why?”, but we need always someone else… So it’s more safely, easy…, so you aren’t alone….

But if we penetrate more deeply into the problem we might realize loneliness means not only pain, sadness, feeling of uselessness…Might it be a chance to look inside you, understand your feelings and a chance to look around the world and see how it’s amazing.

May loneliness be not so terrible und unbearable? May it be sometimes beneficial? Recall, how many painters, writers, poets being alone made their masterpieces…

Finding Mr. Right...

“I want to get married” – one can hear from any twenty-year old girl. Any girl of this age is dreaming to find her Mr. Right. But why? Isn’t she frightened by the stories of her married friends about family life? I suppose, no girl think about the problems that can arise after getting married when she has really fallen in love.

Every girl is dreaming to be a princess in a white magnificent dress. Every of us wants to find a man, who will love her, take care of her, fulfill her whims, just support her and help in any situation. And then every woman wants to have her own child who will say with its thready soft voice: “Mummy!” and put its small arms around her neck. And I’m  not different. All this is so touching!

But unfortunately nowadays many girls aren’t so naïve and they have more pragmatic goals. Of course, they are finding their Mr. Right, but they don’t want he’ll just love them; they want he will be rich and not stingy. For these girls it’ll be even better if he has a luxurious car, flat or even his own house and decent bank account.

It’s a pity that such pure feeling as love has been undervalued…But this is only modern life…

Love...

In any part of the world people live for love, they can kill for love, die for it and commit suicide because of unrequited love. For ages people have sung love songs, written love verses, myths, legends and made pictures, sculptures and all these only because of love. So what is love? Scientists believe it is only chemical and physical changes in a person’s brain and when you’re in love there are elevating levels of dopamine and other hormones.

I suppose everyone has experienced this feeling at least once in his life. Some get happy of this feeling, but it can bring only sorrow to others.

And you? Have you ever loved? Do you remember what you feel that time? I loved… I remember… This felling is unforgettable! Every day you wake up with a thought about him. You’re waiting when your mobile rings and you see his name at the screen. You’re waiting for meetings with him. You’re thrilling with delight at the thought that today you will spend all the evening together: only you and he. You don’t even notice his disadvantages or if notice love them, too.

After a time you aren’t as exciting as at the beginning of your relations but you feel affection. You know it is the man whom you can rely on, who support you. (Might it be the moment when friendship between a man and woman begins as passion disappears and there is only affection?)

But all this is a happy love when both partners love each other. And what about unrequited love or love when one of the partners loves but another only uses him? I suppose it’s terrible. If you have known since the beginning you have no chance you should accept it though it won’t be easy. But if you love and you partner seems to love you back it is especially painful to learn you have been used…It’s painful to realize he has kissed you, put his arms around your waist, stroked your hair for his own goals. In might be just convenient for him…You’re worrying about it and drawing into your shell. You’re getting indifferent to everything that might interest you two days ago…

Everyone chooses his/her own way: to love or not. But not sport with another’s feelings. Put yourself in his/her shoes. I think you wouldn’t want to experience this.

Is friendship between man and woman possible?

What is friendship? I suppose everyone has his/her own idea about this notion. Scientists say friendship is personal relations between people based on trust, sincerity, understanding and mutual interests. But this is a common description of the notion.

For me friendship is relations when people want to be together, trust and respect each other, understand each other sometimes even without any words. Friends know each other so in detail as one can predict what another will think or make. It is the friend who will always listen to you, understand you, give you advice and be happy or upset with you.

Of course, everyone used to say about three kinds of friendship: women’s friendship, men’s friendship and friendship between a man and woman. Women’s friendship is generally considered to be weak and most of us will say women’s friendship is over when they like one man. And it is partially true. About men’s friendship one says it is extremely strong and everyone knows men’s mutual readiness to help. And finally it is left the most stirring and controversial question: Is there friendship between a man and woman? And if there is, is it strong or weak?

Most of us will say that “yes, there is”… But is that so? On the one hand: “yes”. And in this case we can distinguish some reasons for friendship between a man and woman, e.g. they have mutual interests, they know each other since the childhood or (and I suppose, it is the most widespread reason) one of friends likes another not only just as a friend but as a potential partner.

On the other hand, if we will rely on the scientist’s definition or my personal interpretation of friendship and take into account that we say about a man and woman therefore this friendship is like love… In addition, there is only a vague border between friendship and love as they both imply personal relations. So if we say about friendship between a man and woman might we say about Platonic love? Can we say that if a man and woman have no sex they are friends? Or what?

I think it is almost impossible to find answers and it is up to everyone to decide: there is this friendship or not...